Food glorious food.

Food glorious food, hot sausage and mustard. While we’re in the mood, cold jelly and custard.

So the song goes on. Those boys, struggling for the tiniest morsel of food to stay alive, are rightly obsessed with thinking about food. They think about it from the moment they awake to the moment they fall asleep on the cold stone floor of the workhouse. They think about food and are obsessed by food because they are literally starving. They barely have enough to sustain their miserable, lowly lives.

I, in the other hand, have a fridge, freezer and store cupboard crammed full of the damn stuff.  At any given point, I can walk to my kitchen and get myself something to eat.

So why am I obsessed with food? It is all I think about during my waking hours. There are even times when I dream about the damn stuff. I cannot get away from culinary thoughts.

Trying to limit how much I consume and at the same time when I do eat, eat healthily, only makes the cravings worse.

I’m not sure if the times I write are published with my blogs, but it is currently 43 minutes past midnight. I came to bed just over two hours ago with bad cravings. I could almost literally smell the toast cooking, or see the hock of bacon, in my fridge (interestingly, I have neither any bread or a bacon hock!). Fortunately, I fell asleep fairly quickly. I woke up two hours later and the cravings have not dissipated!!

I have not given in, but it makes me so bloody miserable. I’m in tears writing this. What a bloody state to allow yourself to get into.

Going to put my CPAP mask (I have sleep apnoea) and try to go back to sleep, let’s hope that when I wake again, the cravings will have passed.

I suspect not.