Isn’t life strange?

Do you ever find that life can be really strange?

I suffer quite badly with insomnia, if I get three hours sleep a night them I’m quite pleased, but normally I get around 2-2 1/2 hours a night. If I have an impending appointment, or I know that there us something I don’t want to face, then it can be even worse, sometimes, in fact quite often, I am awake all night.

Take Wednesday evening for instance, I went to choir, first time in 10 weeks. We opened with my favourite song This Is Me. I had to come home half way through as I had an Angina attack, probably due to the fact that the following morning, I was due at the hospital for an exercise test to see if am fit for bariatric surgery. Any way that night, I don’t suppose that I got 45 minutes sleep, I was so anxious.

This morning, however, I had another appointment which in many ways is far more important than the hospital visit was. I had to meet up with the Community Mental Health Team: hitherto known as the CMHT. I have been so anxious about this, as I knew that there is a lot of crap that I need to dig up, bash and scrub the initial dirt off on the washboard that is my brain, then fling it in the washer on the hottest cycle and finally hang it out to dry till it is beautifully clean. I am also acutely aware that it is going to take a long time, one session is not going to make it all go away. All of this mixed up is a perfect recipe for yet another sleepless night!

I slept like a log, the best night sleep I’ve had for literally years., so much so that when I did wake up, it was half past nine, my appointment was for eleven O’clock, barely enough time for me to get ready to be out of the door for the latest 10.50.

The session was tough, very, very, very tough, but at least I wasn’t physically knackered. It has, however left me emotionally exhausted. That kind of tiredness, needs as much sleep to repair the body as does physical exhaustion.

Before I sign off. The days events has left me with this thought: isn’t life strange, that it should throw into the whirlpool of your emotional existence, a protection when you most need it, i.e a good nights sleep to help you face the day!!?

Till next time. Xx