I’ve not felt very well today, nothing specific. Just generally under the weather. I did not get up this morning till approaching 11am, that’s quite unusual for me unless I am on a complete depressive downer, in which case its extremely difficult for me to get out of bed at all.
Today is different, but it has led me to feeling really down and in fact I did take to my bed for a couple of hours this afternoon. I have got up now, but my mood has dropped. Really dropped, it would not take much for me to end up in tears and even when I am on my own I don’t like being in tears. There are times though that I have no choice and the tears just flow. But not today
I am now in a quandary. My normal response to the way I am feeling at the moment, would be to go to the fridge or the larder, or indeed both, and just eat, eat and eat and the eat some more. But this I do not want to do.
So far, I have managed to fight the urge. I have had a cup of hot chocolate from my Tassimo to see if that helps. I have yet to have my main meal, but I am refraining from too, I don’t want to eat till half six at the earliest, as I am finding that if I eat any earlier, then I am likely to ‘graze’ and, for me grazing is fatal! But at the moment, I could eat a bowlful of cold sour sprouts!!
I have a question that keeps looming in my head. What makes me eat? Is it genuine hunger, is it depression, is it habit, or is it something else? I genuinely don’t know.
One of the theories I have is that I am addicted to food. Now this may be a bit of an excuse, but I don’t think so. The trouble is, with every other addiction bar none, the only way to beat an addiction is to stop partaking of it. You obviously cannot do this with food without quite literal dire consequences.
I’m going to stop writing now and prepare my evening meal, salmon fish cakes and rice.
See you soon!
Vince's weight loss and life as a survivor! 
How did the meal go? Salmon fish cakes sounded good. I’m addicted to heavy carbs and if I eat them I just crave more. But also I’m an emotional eater. I once had to keep a food diary and also make notes when I was tempted to eat between meals and such. I just had to write what ever came into my head. It amazed me what suppressed emotions came out in the writing! Maybe it’s something you could try. But different things work for different people. Keep up the good work. I hope your mood drop doesn’t last for long. It could be your brain learning to cope with less sugar?
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The salmon fish cakes were lively, I enjoyed them. IRS interesting what you say about sugar, because that is going to be the topic of my next blog. I want to explore why sugar is bad for you and how much sugar can be found in common foodstuffs. So please watch this space.
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